World Languages
World Languages, 30.01.2020 02:53, kaliahgrey

Ineed someone to me proofread my short story for english. give me honest feedback, i really appreciate it! : )

“do you promise? ”
“pinky promise, freya,” he said, “i’ll come back to visit.”
tears streamed down her cheeks as her lips trembled, “you’d better! ”
he smiled at her tear stained face and ruffled her hair one last time before disappearing into departure gates, without a second glance back.
that was the last time anyone has seen, luke driscoll.

“luke’s flight crashed… he’s gone, sweetheart…”
the whole world became mute the second those words left her father’s trembling lips. freya could no longer hear the violent sobs of her mother. nor could she feel the warm rays of the sun through her living room window. the brilliant greens and striking blues of earth faded to murky grays. her mind blanks as an artist's new canvas.
no more car trips with both of them screaming at the top of their lungs. no more forced horror movie marathons up until midnight. no more christmas gift exchanges. and no more visits from her big brother.
gone was the time they spent together.
“luke you liar…” freya whispered under her breathe, “you promised…”

nothing was the same without luke by her side.
she was a sunflower starved of sunlight. her head bowed down as tears of golden petals fell down her cheeks. facing the direction of the sun, begging for its return.
but freya knew the sun in her life would never return.
he is gone, forever.
freya cried, she cried and cried until her tears have dried and ran out.
luke’s room has never felt so utterly empty.
his bedroom walls looked ghostly pale without his colorful posters plastered messily on the walls. his crimson bass guitar abandoned in the dark corner of the room, never to be touched by his owner again. and no more loud music blasted through the dust-covered speakers.
but freya’s gotten used to the sight of this.

somewhere, in the bottom of her heart, she knew that it was time for her to move on.
even though the two were once on the same boat, they are now above different oceans. the elder seagull patiently waits for his sister to take her first flight. she will fall, crash into the sandy beach dirting her snowy feathers. however, he rests silently by her side. believing that someday, his crybaby sister would have the courage to leap out towards the ocean, leaving her nest.
and his crybaby sister is ready.
she stretched out her sand covered wings, looking straight ahead of the unknown world in front of her. tossing her fears and doubts away. following the compass of her dreams, dauntlessly flying away from the security of her nest.

“it’s been a while, big brother.”
freya gently placed a bouquet of white lilies before luke’s tombstone. as well as a handwritten letter right next to them.
she then got up with a bittersweet smile on her face before walking away. without looking back a single time.

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