Consider the fight-or-flight and the tend-and-befriend responses to stress. Of the two, the is healthier, because it is not associated with the release of the stress hormone .

You might have heard the saying tend-and-befriend in passing and wondered what it meant. In psychology, tend-and-befriend is a term used to describe a type of behavior that occurs in response to stress. Just like animals and humans have the better-known flight-or-flight response, tend-and-befriend is just another strategy that some of us use in reaction to stressful situations.

While humans and animals are both known to display the fight-or-flight response when in a stressful or threatening situation, tend-and-befriend refers to the more recently discovered response that females have in these types of situations. The word 'tend' refers to tending to your offspring, and 'befriend' refers to seeking out social support during times of stress.

You're probably wondering why people have studied the stress response and come up with all these different theories to explain it. It's because these theories help us understand complex human behavior. These responses have a scientific, physical component to them, and they're instinctual, meaning we don't even realize it's happening. Fight-or-flight and tend-and-befriend are evolutionary responses that developed over time to help us survive in dangerous situations.

Even though the situations and dangers in humans' lives have changed drastically in modern times compared to in the past, these stress responses are still around and influencing our behavior today. It's interesting to know that while a lot has changed, the tend-and-befriend response to stress still serves as positive a purpose to women and their children now as it did before.

Definition of Tend-and-Befriend

Psychlopedia defines the Tend-and-Befriend Model (or bonding response)  as the:

"Stress response model saying that females are biologically predisposed to respond to the threat by nurturing and protecting offspring and seeking social support and attention."

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