CAN SOME TRANSLATE THIS ACT 2 SCENE 3 SPEECH INTO MODERN ENGLISH PLEASE!! YOU CAN USE SLANG FYI I need modern, clever responses that stay true to Friar Laurence’s TONE and MEANING!

Holy Saint Francis, what a change is here!
Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear,
So soon forsaken? Young men's love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
Jesu Maria, what a deal of brine
Hath washed thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline!
How much salt water thrown away in waste
To season love that of it doth not taste.
...

The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,
Thy old groans ring yet in my ancient ears —

Lo, here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit
Of an old tear that is not washed off yet.
If e'er thou wast thyself and these woes thine,
Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline.
And art thou changed? Pronounce this sentence then:
Women may fall when there's no strength in men.

Romeo
Thou chid'st me oft for loving Rosaline.

Friar Laurence
For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.

Romeo
And bad'st me bury love.

Friar Laurence
Not in a grave,
To lay one in, another out to have.

Romeo
I pray thee, chide me not. Her I love now

Explanation:

Holy Saint Francis, this is a drastic change! Have you given up so quickly on Rosaline, whom you loved so much? Then young men love with their eyes, not with their hearts. Jesus and Mary, how many Times did you cry for Rosaline? How many salty tear-drops did you waste salting a love you never received? The sun hasn’t yet melted away the fog you made with all your sighs. The groans you used to make are still ringing in my old ears. There’s still a stain on your cheek from an old tear that hasn’t been washed off yet. If you were ever yourself, and this sadness was yours, you and your sadness were all for Rosaline. And now you’ve changed? Then repeat this after me: you can’t expect women to be faithful when men are so unreliable

ROMEO: You told me off for loving Rosaline

FRIAR LAWRENCE:I scolded you for obsessing about her, not for loving her, my student

ROMEO:And you told me to leave my love

FRIAR LAWRENCE:I didn’t tell you to get rid of that love and replace her with another

Romeo: Please, I beg you, don’t tell me off The girl I love now returns my love. The other girl did not love me.

a dellusion is athing where your mind sees stuff