Evaluating Essays for Support Both essays below lack supporting details at certain key points. Identify the spots where details are needed in each essay. One way to think of where supporting details are needed is to think where the readers would have questions and need more details.

Essay # 1: Formula for Happiness
1 Everyone has his or her own formula for happiness. 2 As we go through life, we discover the activities that make us feel best. 3 I’ve already discovered three keys for my happiness. 4 I depend on karate, music, and self-hypnosis.
5 Karate helps me feel good physically. 6 Before taking karate lessons, I was tired most of the time, my muscles felt like foam rubber, and I was twenty pounds overweight. 7 After three months of these lessons, I saw an improvement in my physical condition. 8 Also, my endurance has increased. 9 At the end of my workday, I used to drag myself home to eat and watch television all night. 10 Now, I have enough energy to play with my children, shop, or see a movie. 11 Karate has made me feel healthy, strong, and happy.
The spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence # .
12 Singing with a chorus has helped me achieve emotional well-being by expressing my feelings. 13 In situations where other people would reveal their feelings, I would remain quiet. 14 Since joining the chorus, however, I have an outlet for joy, anger or sadness. 15 When I sing, I pour my emotions into the music and don’t have to feel shy. 16 For this reason, I enjoy singing certain kinds of music the most, since they demand real depth of feeling.
The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence . The second spot occurs after sentence .
17 Self-hypnosis gives me peace of mind. 18 This is a total relaxation technique which I learned several years ago. 19 Essentially I breathe deeply and concentrate on relaxing all my muscles. 20 I then repeat a key suggestion to myself. 21 Through self-hypnosis, I have gained control over several bad habits that have long been haunting me. 22 I have also learned to reduce the stress that goes along with my secretarial job. 23 Now I can handle the boss’s demands or unexpected work without feeling tense.
The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence .
The second spot occurs after sentence .
24 In short, my physical, emotional, and mental well-being have been greatly increased through karate music, and self-hypnosis. 25 these activities have become important elements in my formula for happiness.

Evaluating for Support II
1. Hamburger--Our Best Friend:
1 Hamburger is the best-selling meat today for a number of good reasons. 2 First of all, its reasonable cost puts it within everyone’s reach. 3 Hamburger is popular, too, because it can be prepared in so many different ways. 4 It can, for example, be cooked by itself, in spaghetti sauce, or with noodles and gravy. 5 It can be baked, boiled, broiled, or fried. 6 Hamburger also is convenient. 7. Finally, and most important, hamburger has a high nutritional value. 8 Four ounces of hamburger contain twenty-eight grams of protein, which is almost half the recommended daily dietary allowance.
The first spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence number . The second spot occurs after sentence number .

2. A Car Accident:
1. I was on my way home from work when my terrible car accident took place. 2 As I drove my car around the curve of the expressway exit, I saw a number of cars ahead of me, backed up because of a red light at the main road. 3 I slowly came to a stop behind a dozen or more cars. 4 In my rear-view mirror, I then noticed a car coming up behind me that did not slow down or stop. 5 I had a horrible, helpless feeling as I realized the car would hit me. 6 I knew there was nothing I could do to signal the driver in time, nor was there any way I could get away from the car. 7 Minutes after the collision, I picked up my glasses, which were on the seat beside me. 8 My lip was bleeding, and I got out a tissue to wipe it. 9 The police arrived quickly, along with an ambulance for the driver of the car that hit me. 10 My car was so damaged that it had to be towed away. 11 Today, eight years after the accident, I still relive the details of the experience whenever a car gets too close behind me.
The point where details are clearly needed occurs after sentence number .