I am friends with my ex but knowing that things will never be the same
knowing that I will never get to say ily
knowing that I am still very much in love with him
it kills me inside and makes my whole body sick
he said that separation anxiety was getting too much for him
since I can only talk an hour per day
even though he says this I still can't understand why
I tried convincing him to stay
I practically begged
But then he said that I am forcing a not wanted relationship on him
realizing what I was doing finally made me back off and let him go
I don't know if I should keep him as a friend or just walk out of his life completely
neither of us have anyone besides each other
so if I leave we'll both be alone
but goddam nit the feeling that he's just barely out of my reach
that eats me up and I just want to cry