I wanted to apply to college for a personal essay can you tell me if its good please? If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t run then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward. – Martin Luther king junior
I came into this world not knowing how many hardships I would face, how many tears I would cry, and how many times I would have the feeling of giving up. Growing up without a mother was not easy but the people around me that showed me, love, made it easier. I wasn’t born with a gold spoon in my mouth so whatever I got I made the most of it.
As a child living in Jamaica was great staying with my grandma and grandpa while my dad was in the U. S. working 3 jobs just so he would be able to send money for me so I can be able to eat and have all my necessities. I migrated to the united states at 8 years old not knowing what I was coming into thinking everything was going to be peaches and cream. When I was in Jamaica the love my grandma would give me was unconditional. All the hugs and kisses before I leave school every morning I took for granted. The “I love you” before I left the house and the “how was your day?” when I came in from school I took for granted.
When I migrated to America the emotional support that I needed as a child went through the window. I had to grow up before it was time for me to do so. My dad and my stepmother went through a lot, witnessed my dad cheating and my stepmother would come to me with those problems. As a child, I did not need to know and witness all of that. I was exposed to a lot of things.
When someone doesn’t know better, they cannot do better. My stepmother would always say this to me, “I am not your mother, won’t be your mother, and cannot be your mother.” obviously I knew that but I didn’t feel as if it was necessary to tell me that. Her excuse for mental abuse was “you have to be blunt and don’t sugar code anything.” Certain things that were being said to me lowered my self-esteem especially when I hit puberty, I used to have a lot of black spots on my face. Whenever there was an argument she would tell me how my face looked like raisins and when I told my dad he laughed.
Things like this made me feel so alone, I was a child who needed love and I would as myself questions like “ I was I born without a mother?” and “why am I here on earth?” the person I was the closest to which was my grandma was back in Jamaica. I had no one to vent to it was just me. There were so much more problems and bad things that happened but I was never hungry, I had a bed to sleep on along with clothes and shoes so I had that to be grateful for. There was just a lack of emotional support along with mental abuse.
But, at the end of the tunnel, there was light. Everything I went through, I turned those lemons and made lemonade. I started doing amazing in school. Made honor roll every quarter joined spelling bee’s started believing in myself more and accepting that I am here for a reason. My grandma would always say to me “once there is a storm there will always be a calm” meaning the storm won't last forever and one day I will blossom in the beautiful flower that I am. I try my best with every task I get. I will always hold my head up high and prove to those who thought I wouldn’t amount to anything that I am going to be something great in life. Although my parents didn’t know better I know they still love me they just had a hard time showing it. I will make them proud and most of all my grandma because she is my strength, my confidant, and the person who picks me up when I am down. So in the end I am happy for my struggles because I love the young woman I am today and the woman I am about to be.