Senior project proposal could someone give tips for cleaning this up?

Paragraph 1: Career Connection: In no fewer than four complete sentences, completely describe a potential career interest and how it is related to this proposed project. This paragraph should clearly make a connection between the two.

Paragraph 2: Project Description: In no fewer than four complete sentences, give a detailed description of your proposed project including what you want to accomplish. Specify what you will be doing, and what the project’s end result will be. How will you know when you are done and have been successful.

Paragraph 3: Collection of Evidence: In no fewer than four complete sentences, explain in detail what you think will be appropriate evidence/artifacts to bring to the oral boards to demonstrate your completed “hands on” experience, including such possible pieces as: work logs, photographs, emails, receipts, physical artifacts, finished products, samples of work, video, parts, tools, certificates, licenses, etc.

I aspire to work as a self-employed artist. I aim to learn different arts, trades, and skills throughout the next few years in order to shape myself into an individual with many marketable skills and usable knowledge to expand on. A diverse knowledge of arts also creates a large variety of possible job opportunities, from graphic design to marketing. Knowledge can always be built on, learning new skills grows intellectual capabilities and expands horizons.

I am looking forward to learning the skills and techniques of glassblowing. Going into this with no workable knowledge of the art, I aim to come out with hands-on experience, and a fundamental grasp of the trade. The specific type of glasswork, or torchwork, I hope to participate in deals specifically with solid glass being softened and formed under open flame. Starting with safety procedures, and working up to forming figurines and other structures, I will have learned a marketable and unique craft few have experienced. Gaining this new knowledge will be a success in working up to creating various glass pieces.

Appropriate evidence from my senior project include work logs, photos, videos, finished products, and samples of work. Work logs complete with dates, length of time participating, and details regarding topics reviewed will both be great for judges to witness and for me to refer back to when describing both the experience and knowledge gained. Physical artifacts such as finished glass pieces display the craftsmanship I have learned and provide interactive objects for judges to view and handle. Pictures and videos of myself actively working with glass subjects supply evidence for active participation and display how some of the pieces may have been created.