Ireally need i beg

rewrite the paragraph, making sure to do the following.

replace all the blue nouns with stronger nouns that do a better job identifying the objects. (it is ok to use more words than were used originally.) you can replace more than the ones that are marked.
replace all the green verbs with stronger verbs that do a better job identifying the actions involved. (it is ok to use more words than were used originally.) you can replace more than the ones that are marked.
add colorful and vivid adjectives and adverbs that will improve the image of the scene.
replace overused nouns with pronouns.

this is the pharagraph

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