Please Help?!?!?!Applied Practice Instructions
Rewrite an email with changes to ensure that it is more diplomatic, and that it includes all necessary information. Make the necessary edits to reflect professionalism and courtesy. Make it more likely to achieve the desired results.

The Background Information
After finishing a unit studying Hamlet, Abby Cornish wants to take her Literature students see a production of The Lion King, but she has hastily written an email to the theater manager that lacks some needed information and the appropriate diplomacy and courtesy.

The Email
I would like to arrange for a group of high school students from my Literature course to attend a performance of The Lion King. Do you have a group block of seats available for either October 5th or 8th? Also, do you still offer the 20% group discount? Do you do backstage tours, because I would like for my group to take a tour after the show. I need a response from you by Friday so I can make the necessary plans.

Thank you,
Abby Cornish

Her Goals
She would like to obtain 25 tickets for a matinee showing on one of two dates in October (the 5th or 8th).
She would like to obtain the tickets at the 20% off group rate that the theater has previously advertised.
She would like her group to be able to take a backstage tour after the show if possible.
She would like to have a response to this request by the end of the school week (Friday) to have enough time to prepare for the field trip, and she is sending this email on Monday.
She would like for the email to be professional and courteous and to represent her in a professional way.

what: when quoting a source, use the author’s words verbatim, or word-for-word. this means you shouldn’t change any grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. put quotations around the words to tell your reader where the quote begins and where it ends.

you also need to acknowledge the author. for example, if using mla format for your research paper, you should have in-text citations with the author’s name and page number listed at the end of each quote.

when: use quotations to provide concrete examples to support your claims. using direct quotations is a great way to build your credibility on the subject. it’s also a good idea to quote your source when the author states things in a powerful way. if you think he or she said it best, then use the exact words to share the ideas.

example: in the short story “a jury of her peers”, mrs. hale compares mrs. wright to her caged bird, saying “she—come to think of it, she was kind of like a bird herself. real sweet and pretty, but kind of timid and—fluttery. how—she—did—change” (glaspell).

paraphrasing

what: paraphrasing differs from quoting because you restate the passage in your own words. since you don’t use the author’s words, you don’t need to use quotation marks. however, you still need to acknowledge the author for his or her ideas.

when paraphrasing a text, you should communicate the full meaning of the text; don’t change the meaning. it can be a condensed version of the text, or it could end up being longer than the source it’s paraphrasing.

when: you use paraphrasing when you take notes, or explain a chart or diagram to someone. paraphrasing highlight the important parts of a larger text. it also allows you to simplify the ideas for your readers.

example:

original: “it was no ordinary thing that called her away–it was probably further from ordinary than anything that had ever happened in dickson county. but what her eye took in was that her kitchen was in no shape for leaving: her bread all ready for mixing, half the flour sifted and half unsifted” (glaspell).

paraphrase: as mrs. hales walks around mrs. wright’s home, she notices that the kitchen is in disarray as if she was in the middle of baking bread (glaspell).