English, 11.04.2021 01:20, gsbsjshzn

2. Edit the following paragraph carefully for unity. Cross out all unnecessary ideas. Our society overemphasizes entertainment from outside sources. People think they need
television, computers, or an iPad. Everyday those companies are making money off air, not
a tangible product. Instead of making something by hand or learning how to spend time
enjoying life, people depend on technology for everything, including being entertained.
Parents and children could benefit from entertaining themselves without having to depend on
the Internet connection or their cellular network. Families could, for example, tell stories, take
walks, or play music together. They could entertain themselves at art museums or city parks
rather than in front of the TV.

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2. Edit the following paragraph carefully for unity. Cross out all unnecessary ideas. Our society o...