English
English, 04.03.2021 21:50, kenzie19169

Please forgive me, I've got demons in my head. People tell me the demons aren't as bad as I say. "You're letting them control you!" they say. "They aren't that bad! You're making it up for attention!"

Addie and Ziah dig their claws in a little deeper every time they hear that.

When I tell people about Addie and Ziah, how they hurt me, they tell me to just try not to listen. "Don't listen to them! Be happy! If you think positively, they'll go away."

They've taken all my happy thoughts. Ziah feeds on them, spitting them back out as poison that Addie then spreads like a disease until there's nothing left.

Ziah whispers in my ear, telling me how terrifying the world is, how everyone hates me, how everyone judges me, how I'm messing up, how I'm a waste of space and air, how I should just give up. She reminds me of how fragile I am, how easy it would be to draw blood, how easy it would be to give up.

Addie is less subtle, choosing to scream rather than whisper.

She isn't as nice, either. Ziah is only telling the truth, but Addie tells me anything she thinks of.

What if you put your finger in an electric socket? she screams. What if you chewed your fingers until they bled? What if you went a little too far while wrestling with your siblings? What if you threw something across the room?

What if you died?

Sometimes they work in harmony, screaming and whispering at the same time, telling me I'm not enough so I should hit something, telling me I'm worthless so I should distance myself from everyone, telling me I should just... stop.

Addie doesn't stop at screaming in my ear, though. She's in my whole body, in my legs to make them constantly bounce and annoy people (Ziah loves that, she tells me everyone hates me because I'm constantly moving). She's in my chest, squeezing my heart and lungs and filling them with electricity until I feel like I have to burst (Ziah does this too, except when she does it hurts more). She's in my brain, stealing my memories and thoughts and setting fire to my emotions.

Fire. That's a good way to describe what Addie does to me. She sets fire to my skin, making it crawl with energy until I feel like it's going to break through and I'm going to die. She sets fire to my thoughts and memories until they burn up and I can't find them anymore. She sets fire to my emotions, making them burn too brightly and too hot until I burn other people with them.

Full would be another good way. I'm full of energy and emotion and it makes me feel sick and pressured and I need to do something, anything to release the pressure, and sometimes I feel as though knives are the only option~

They aren't, though. Haven't been for almost a year now. Addie and Ziah have given me that much.

Nobody blames the demons, though. They blame me.

"Why can't you sit still? Why can't you be quiet? Why can't you remember? Why can't you pay attention? Why are you so annoying?

It's the demons!
I need a review of Don't listen
"Don't listen to them, then!"

I have no thoughts of my own to listen to instead. I have no name. I have nothing of myself. There are only the demons.

Please forgive me, I've got demons in my head.

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Please forgive me, I've got demons in my head. People tell me the demons aren't as bad as I say. "Y...

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