Is this good? i need constructive criticism
Allure me with your beautiful sound,
control me w...
![English](/tpl/images/cats/en.png)
English, 26.02.2021 20:50, falldownguyss
Is this good? i need constructive criticism
Allure me with your beautiful sound,
control me with the stroking of your fingers against the keys.
Iridescent fantasy, a cruel harsh reality,
the beating of my heart matching with the pace of the beat.
A pianist’s desire to appease.
Heart portrayed through a beautiful song that is heartless.
Temptation killing my untuned heart,
Enchanted by your pulchritudinous lies.
The slowing of the hands,
the falling of sweetened tears.
Erasing the nonexistent thoughts.
Captivating my entire existence.
The rain still falling,
the beauty of something that should have never been.
Approaching the end,
the end of something that was never there in the first place.
The song begins to finish.
Where have all my memories and consciousness gone?
My reality is far from compromised,
my heart slows as the keys fade from existence.
The wind stops blowing,
yet the tears in my eyes continue to float away from me.
My final plea?
I wish the piano was more than my imagination.
it's about a girl who's stuck in the hospital, who has nobody besides the occasional nurse to turn to. she imagines a friend, her "piano" and relies entirely on her imagination, to the point where it starts worsening her condition. being stuck inside her head blinded her, and eventually she fades from existence and wishes she had focused more on her life rather than fantasy.
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Answers: 2
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