Narrative Writing: Removing Irrelevant Details paragraph below has one sentence that is not relevant to the narrative. Cross out that sentence to strengthen the paragraph. Last Saturday was a perfect day. My cousins Reid and Bella came to visit. We decided to go to the park for a picnic. The sun shone brightly and sparkled on the water as we laid out a colorful blanket near the lake. We told jokes and laughed as we ate our lunch under the shade of the trees. My favorite sandwich is grilled cheese, but we didn't bring any of those. After lunch, Reid took out his new dragon-shaped kite, and we watched as it rose into the sky and danced among the clouds. As we watched the kite fly higher and higher, we all agreed that this was the best day ever!

Last Saturday was a perfect day. My cousins Reid and Bella came to visit. We decided to go to the park for a picnic. The sun shone brightly and sparkled on the water as we laid out a colorful blanket near the lake. We told jokes and laughed as we ate our lunch under the shade of the trees. My favorite sandwich is grilled cheese, but we didn't bring any of those. After lunch, Reid took out his new dragon-shaped kite, and we watched as it rose into the sky and danced among the clouds. As we watched the kite fly higher and higher, we all agreed that this was the best day ever!

(Bold = delete sentence)

Explanation:

The narrator is talking about his/her day and what s/he and his/her cousins did at the park. Grilled cheese sandwiches are irrelevant to the story because they didn't even bring it to the picnic.

judy jones is an attractive woman who receives attention from many men throughout the story.   despite her beautiful appearance, she is superficial and callous.   she is an aggressive woman who goes after any man she desires but she is not happy.   she is fickle and is never satisfied.   her beauty is only skin deep.   dexter breaks down because he knows his dreams are unattainable.   he believes that wealth and physical beauty are what will make him happy.   he soon realizes that she has lost her attractive looks.   it is not all what he had planned.

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