CREATE YOUR OWN PUN, I need 2 puns for English ASAP example; bark- means a part of a tree and a sound a dog makes. Pun- the dog is barking up the wrong tree?

Tissues can't tell jokes--

Because they have a dry sense of humor!

What did the ketchup say to the refrigerator when somebody opened the door?

"Hey close the door! I'm dressing!"

If i could rearrange the alphabet--

I would put U, and I together!

Um.. I think there's something wrong with my phone..

It doesn't have your number on it.

I wish I was cross-eyed--

So I can see you twice!

I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning--

but I mist it! ... I guess I'll dew it tomorrow!

LOL CRINGE

i dont know what you want me to answer

1. read the following excerpt from franklin d. roosevelt's "fireside chat 19":

on the other side of the picture, we must learn also to know that guerilla warfare against the germans in, let us say serbia or norway, us; that a successful russian offensive against the germans us; and that british successes on land or sea in any part of the world strengthen our hands.

remember always that germany and italy, regardless of any formal declaration of war, consider themselves at war with the united states at this moment just as much as they consider themselves at war with britain or russia. and germany puts all the other republics of the americas into the same category of enemies. the people of our sister republics of this hemisphere can be honored by that fact.  

the true goal we seek is far above and beyond the ugly field of battle. when we resort to force, as now we must, we are determined that this force shall be directed toward ultimate good as well as against immediate evil. we americans are not destroyers — we are builders.

analyze the effectiveness of this excerpt. how does it function within the speech as a whole? how does the structure of the excerpt to convey the speech's purpose and key points? support your argument with evidence from the speech. (10 points)