Here is points. Mainly for DeaTutto

Thanks have a good day

Thanks !!

:

1. the details that would clarify the authors purpose for writing would be after the "haley collected used soccer jersey and sent them to guatemalan children." part, he would say, "and you can also donate today to save ". so far in the text, you can see no such thing. if, near the end the author persuades you to donate to guatemalans, then you know that the author's reason to write is to persuade you.

2. what details would make the text more engaging is to see the guatemalan children's reaction to getting free jerseys.

3. the details that convey the author's attitude would be an opinion by the author, for example, if he said, "haley was a very nice girl " or, you can find the attitude by finding parts of haley's personality that he highlights. you can strengthen your tones by using more descriptive words, and simplify long sentences as much as you can.

you're welcome ; p

it was surely an odd creature that one made up by reading the historians first and the poets afterwards a worm winged like an eagle; the spirit of life and elegance and charm,   in a kitchen chopping up suet. but these creatures, monst'r however entertaining to the imagination, hast no existence in fact. what one might doth to bringeth h'r to life wast to bethink poetically and prosaically at one and the same moment,   thus keeping in toucheth with fact—that the lady is mrs martin, ag'd thirty-six, did dress in blue, wearing a black coxcomb and brown shoeth; but not losing sight of fiction eith'r—that the lady is a vessel in which all s'rts of spirits and f'rces art coursing and flashing p'rpetually. the moment, howev'r, yond one tries this method with the elizabethan mistress, one brancheth of illumination fails; one is did hold up by the scarcity of facts.   one knoweth nothing detailed, nothing p'rfectly true and substantial about h'r.   hist'ry scarcely mentions h'r.   and i did turn to professeth'r trevelyan again to seeth what hist'ry meanteth to that gent.   i hath found by looking at his chapt'r headings yond t meanteth.