I'm smiling so wide it hurts, I just leveled up to expert I hope you all had a great thanksgiving! Blessings! Here's something I wrote...um okay now that feeling faded oop... anyway. Aniyah & Arie I love you 2 so much beyond words, you 2 are the best friends I could ever ask for. Chase this is for you... ily beyond words too, you are so special & you make me so happy, I'm really sorry things didn't work out between us. It hurts a lot to know that I lost all of you. You three are the only reason I come back to this website... (I mean I also need it for school but that's irrelevant lol) anyway... Life sucks... we all have our own issues, we are all struggling in our own ways. I procrastinate so much... that's not your fault. I have problems of my own, I despise myself, almost as much as I love you guys. It hurts to know that you hurt people you care about. It hurts to know that you will never get back to what you had or who you were. I feel broken most of the time, but the 3 of you idk you just fill that empty space that I've had for so long. And I suppose I should learn how to fill it myself since you all won't be around much longer to be there for me. To make me feel whole. I need to learn how to feel whole on my own. It sucks but it's true. I'm so alone without the three of you. It's unpleasant. Anyway, I think this is probably my last question. I want the 3 of you to live your lives the best you can. I only want happiness for you. I can't do this anymore, it hurts... I don't know what else to do. I've already lost you. That's just something I must accept I guess. Who am I supposed to be? When will I be enough...for myself? For my family. When will my words get through to anyone? I am trapped in a glass box being filled with water at a pace quicker than my panicky breath. I have lost all hope of whatever I wanted or saw my future as. Whatever I use to believe about life, Idk I don't feel that sad as I don't feel anything at all. I don't care about myself. It's terrible I know. But idk what else to say or what else to feel. Don't ever leave this world my lovelies: Aniyah, Arie, Chase you are more important than anything I'm so sorry for everything. You deserve the whole world, you deserve so much happiness you are not getting, you deserve things I cannot/can no longer give you. And I'm sorry I couldn't help more, I'm sorry I could not save you my darlings. So here is one final piece of my writing. I love you to pieces, goodbye babes! <3 :)