"Three years back, I visited my uncle in the summer
vacation. In his village, there is a big
and lovely pond with lotus and lily
flowers in it. I learnt how to swim
there. My uncle's only son Nits is of
my age and an expert swimmer. Nits
can also skate, ride a bicycle, and
hike up mountains for days. The
mountain in their village is gorgeous
too. Nits taught me the art of
swimming. The pond is shallow near
the banks. The first day of the
exercise was really very unpleasant,
so I was reluctant to go to the pond
the next day. Because on the first
day, I gulped a lot of water, sank a
couple of times, and some water
entered my nose as well. However,
Nits persuaded me to continue, and
soon I began to enjoy swimming.'
Il *

1 Lacks logical order of support
2 Has many grammatical & spelling errors
3 Lacks unity as not on topic in 2 sentences
4 Lacks sufficient specific details