I made two poems and I need to know how they turned out. (Trigger warning potentially depressive content)

#1
See how the stars shine when I am sleeping, how bright everyone else can be.
Upturned mouths and bright cheeks laughing, smiling past their misery...
I ’m so happy. Once sunrays did also fly from between my teeth. Because little
Children see the good in everything, now softly between my teeth I feel steel
It’s cold comfort is so calming and its blends warmly with the sun i see in you
Dear i’m writing you this letter because i know I can’t ever be like you *click*
Even as i signoff i laugh at my own jokes ‘I’m open minded now’

#2

Leaving my room for the second time in two weeks after i read your letter
Even the doors to this empty home miss you, you were so much more than you mentioned
Frame by frame we built this big picture and day by day i watched you slowly wither
To be the focus of your last letter you’d think I’d feel much better but what good is a sun on a
Barren plane, makes it arrid where nothing can live again. i held your hand even as you held the
Eraser. If only this were a book and I could retrace you. nothing here could ever replace you, is it
Hot in here, i think i need some air, telling me move on i don't think you ever cared i'm not hungry
I am okay! i'm not okay… it's okay… water and unseasoned bread i don't make my bed im
Not into that. I don’t make friends at school, i don’t follow the rules if you knew me before
Don’t come to my door… you only remind me… please don’t remind me, does it ever go away?