After hiking for hours the rest area appeared in the near distance... what is the best revision for this sentence

In the space below, write a five-paragraph, 600-800 word persuasive essay arguing whether or not your chosen speech is effective in communicating its message, based on how it uses rhetorical strategies. include a clear thesis statement identifying whether, in your view, the speaker's argument is effective, based on his or her use of rhetorical strategies. explain why or why not. give your audience a sense of closure by providing a clear conclusion. throughout the essay, be sure to: use formal, objective language for an academic audience, connect your ideas using transitions that clearly tie together your ideas, base your argument on evidence from the text of the speech, and provide a clear conclusion about the speech's effectiveness.