That one kid from class, a work-mate or even that cashier from your local Woolies could come from a broken family and you’d never even realise.
You learn from a young age that people are often insensitive, as most people don’t care about what’s going on at your home and often don’t acknowledge it if they don’t see it. While you’re not seeking any pity, a little consideration goes a long way. However, you go on to learn that if it doesn’t leave a physical mark, people often don’t care.
When you come from a broken family, it feels like you’re isolated and cut-off from the rest of the world. Being so distant to a parent or a sibling often pressures you into feeling like you need to deal with it by yourself. Why? Because it’s embarrassing.
It’s embarrassing because it feels like you’re the only one with a family who can’t seem to get along. It’s embarrassing because while everyone gets picked up by their parents, you’re left to hitching a ride or public transport.
It hurts. It hurts because it’s sometimes difficult to understand why your family is like this. Why you have to suffer while everyone else is so seemingly happy with their families. Why you hurt so badly when other families get along so well. Why it’s not your fault.
It’s difficult to accept that it’s not your fault. A spiralling mind with endless thoughts and loneliness with no escape often leads to self-blame and guilt; the feeling that your birth was a burden and the cause of this whole mess. But you learn to accept that it’s not your fault, ever so gradually; that you shouldn’t take responsibility for other people’s actions.
Most holidays pretty much suck. This is when an abundance of friends’ family pictures flow through your feeds, capturing everything your family isn’t. Christmas is especially bad. You hear of your friends’ families travelling overseas just to be with their extended relatives. It’s astounding and you just long to be part of a family willing to go to such lengths to be with each other.
You dread parent teacher nights. It gives you anxiety because you don’t want your teachers to call home; you don’t want your teachers to know of your situation.
You hate every other event that requires a parent present, and it makes you crazy jealous when you see other parents who care enough to make such an effort with their children.
That being said, while it does suck to come from a broken family, you learn many things. You learn to endure hardships and persist in the face of adversity. You learn to face and deal with embarrassment. You gain a unique sense of compassion and empathy. You know to never mistreat someone as you never know what they have to face at home.
With these experiences, you form strong bonds between your friends and while you fear one day creating a broken family of your own, you know you’ll do whatever it takes to uphold a happy and supporting household.
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