English
English, 02.10.2020 14:01, lexiecooley

So I'm writing a book and don't really have friends to ask about how it sounds, so could some of you give me some feedback? It's the only chapter right now since I just started writing. The Illusion

"Name: Daniel R. Williams. The famous Daniel R. Williams has been bedridden last announced he's in a coma. Doctors struggle to find out when he'll awake. They say it may be weeks, months, or even a lifetime. Day after day he slowly loses grip of the world he called home. Daniel has no idea that he's in a coma, the illusions he's encountering in this coma are real too him. Faced with Illusions that can't be unseen, forced to make decisions that cost lives in this illusion. As Daniel makes his way through the horrifying dreams and illusions he's experiencing, he finds out that what he's seeing isn't real and tries to find a way out of the affair."

Chapter I

The Accident

"Daniel..? Daniel.. Wake up..! Keep your eyes on me, ok?" An unknown person yelled worriedly. Daniel gives a tiny nod as the doctors rushed him to surgery. "I love you I hope you know that. I'm sorry I was never there for you, I-" Security steps in the way. "Ma'am you aren't allowed to go back there while they perform surgery." Her eyes filled with tears as she saw Daniel get carried away on the gurney. She fell to the floor and started sobbing, her father in law rushing in, only too see her on the floor crying. He ran over and hugged her. "It's going to be ok." Daniel's father whispered with tears in his eyes. A few hours followed until Daniel made his return from surgery. Daniel's father picked his head up as the doctor stepped out into the corridor. "I'm assuming your Daniel William's father?" Daniel's dad nodded. "Yes I am, is he doing ok?" The doctor gives him a warm smile. "The surgery was a success, we removed the bar along with the fragments that had split. He's lucky the bar barely grazed his heart. If it had been hither, the chance of survival would be low.' Daniel's dad sighed in relief and teared up. "Thank you so much. I don't think he would've made it if you didn't get there in time. Or if you didn't perform surgery when you did."
"I do have bad news." The doctor glanced at him. "He's in a coma. We don't know when he'll awake. It could be weeks, months, or even for the rest of his life." The doctor proclaimed. "W-what..? Your kidding, right?" Daniel's dad mumbled in disbelief. The doctor shook his head. The unknown person made a little groan has her tired eyes adjusted to the lights that shone brightly all down the corridor. Her eyes stopped to the sight of the doctor, and without hesitation jumped up and shouted in a worried voice. "Is he ok?!" "He's fi-" Disregarding the doc she persisted. "Please tell me he's ok! I don't know what I would do if he-" She stopped yelling to the touch of Daniel's father's hand placed upon her shoulder. "He's fine. The bar merely grazed his heart. But.." "But..?" Daniels dad looked at her with serious eyes. She glanced back at him with eyes of sorrow. "He's in a coma." Her eyes slowly filled with tears. "W-wh-what...? B-but you said-" He cut her off. "I know what I said. But I was wrong, I'm sorry." Her eyes flooded with tears, one after another they rolled down her cheeks. "M-may we see him?" She muttered. The doctor nodded. "Follow me." Daniel's dad and the unknown person followed the doctor to Daniel's room. Their eyes widened to the sight of Daniel wrapped up in bandages and wires. They sat by his bedside staring at his seemingly lifeless body. They both knew this was the start of a new chapter in their lives, one without Daniel.

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So I'm writing a book and don't really have friends to ask about how it sounds, so could some of you...

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