I wrote this extract in 15 minutes. What do you think of the use of suspense in this paragraph? (i'm practicing) The electric fire whirred softly as the old lady rocked in her chair. She was wearing a woolen, self-made dress and old fashioned sensible shoes. Her breath had stopped a while ago, but her body was on the move, rocking gently in the wooden rocking-chair. The clawed fingers carefully grasping her wispy hair from behind was making sure of that.

I think that the use of suspense in this paragraph is excellent.

It makes me want to read on and hear more about what happened to the old lady.

Explanation:

I like how you used the following words:

whirred

gently

clawed

grasping

wispy

sensible

woolen

rocked

move

I think they are very good words as they describe what is going on :)

i agree with the other person i love it an want to read on but maybe describe a bit more i will giove you an example wich you dont have to use but you can if you want

the electrical fire whirred softly as the old lady rocked back and forth side to side in her rocking chair.

that wasn't the best it is the first that came into my head but like describle the words more

Explanation:

i hope that this helps you

be more specific with your question.