"Mark took a long look around his room. He looked at all the baseball cards he collected. He looked at the action figures he used to play with. He looked at the posters on the wall. He looked at the bed that seems far too small now. He looked out the window at the park where he used to play baseball. It all looked so small now." What is the issue
with this creative writing?
A. There are no issues
B. It lacks a variety of sentence structure
C. It needs to be proofread
D. It is full of clichés
Best Selection

it lacks a variety of sentence structure

she was trying to use   reliable narrator.

1. the details that would clarify the authors purpose for writing would be after the "haley collected used soccer jersey and sent them to guatemalan children." part, he would say, "and you can also donate today to save ". so far in the text, you can see no such thing. if, near the end the author persuades you to donate to guatemalans, then you know that the author's reason to write is to persuade you.

2. what details would make the text more engaging is to see the guatemalan children's reaction to getting free jerseys.

3. the details that convey the author's attitude would be an opinion by the author, for example, if he said, "haley was a very nice girl " or, you can find the attitude by finding parts of haley's personality that he highlights. you can strengthen your tones by using more descriptive words, and simplify long sentences as much as you can.

you're welcome ; p