Giving medals and 15 pts pls

in no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. explain where it could be improved. then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. use correct spelling and grammar.

learning to swim is one of my happiest childhood memories. the beach offers more than a place to develop strong swimming skills. there are many things to do at the beach. it is unfortunate that so many people spend every day indoors. more people should take time to visit their local beaches. i am glad i learned to swim at the beach.

Read this excerpt from "the light of gandhi's lamp" by hilary kromberg inglis, in which she describes driving to the police station where her sister is being detained. to avoid looking at the blackened windows at the top of the building and thinking about the history of who had died or been tortured there, i always looked instead at the little chinese restaurant on the opposite side of the road. how does this passage affect the text? it conveys, with great subtlety, the conflict she felt over having a sister who would break the law and end up in the custody of the police. it conveys, without any implied moral judgment, that those who fought against apartheid considered themselves to be soldiers in a just war. it conveys, with an extended metaphor, the idea that being detained by the police in this society was regarded as a badge of honor. it conveys, with direct language, the view held by many anti-apartheid activists that the police often acted in brutal and unlawful ways.

Read this passage from "the pedestrian" by ray bradbury: which sentence best describes the overall impact of the setting?

In the space below, write a 800-1,000 word fictional narrative with an engaging hook, well-developed characters, conflict, and resolution, effective dialogue, examples of suspense and symbolism, and proper use of creative punctuation, including quotation marks, commas, and dashes.