English, 28.01.2020 05:31, Bianca1203

Hey all,
i just want to receive feedback on what you guys think about my statement. leave comments on how i can improve or if you thought it was good. (but be honest.)
i am interested in expanding my horizons as a writer and being able to really inspire people with writing my own stories. in my experiences, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures and inspire you in many ways. for the past years, reading has been such a big part of my life and i want to create stories as great as or better than the ones that have been taking me through my childhood. with writing, you can create your own world. you are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips.

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I am interested in expanding my horizons as a writer and being able to really inspire people with writing my own stories.

avoid words like "really" and "totally" when trying to give weight to a specific statement. Usually wording like that only works if there is proper tone, usually of voice, going along with it.I changed the order your points came in just because of their cause-effect relationship.

In pursuit of writing unique stories that inspire my audience, I hope to expand my horizons as a writer in the coming future.

In my experiences, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures and inspire you in many ways.

the only issue with this sentence is your use of the word "experiences". Instead, in this case, "experiences" would simply become "experience" because you are only talking about your experience, not multiple people's experiences.I added on a reason for why this sentence holds meaning by saying that the idea of being able to inspire people seems very cool, basically.

In my experience, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures, often inspiring you in many ways, and I want to be able to become someone capable of the very same.

For the past years, reading has been such a big part of my life and I want to create stories as great as or better than the ones that have been taking me through my childhood.

Very well done. Because I already stated why the experience of reading is so important to you, I will lighten how much stress is put onto that idea in this sentence. This just comes down to experience, and there are millions of ways to go about this type of edit.

Reading has been such a fundamental characteristic of my development as an individual that the idea of being able to write just as well, if not better, than those I look up to seems like an opportunity I do not want to let drift away.

With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips.

Amazing sentence. I have no edit to this one; it wraps up your overall opinion and restates your central claim very well. I will add on that, again, because of the ideas stated in this sentence, you want to be a writer.

With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips, and I want to become someone who can hold the strings.

There are better writers than myself, but this is the final paragraph I would write if I was in your shoes. Hope this helped. :)

In pursuit of writing unique stories that inspire my audience, I hope to expand my horizons as a writer in the coming future. In my experience, books and stories can take you on amazing adventures, often inspiring you in many ways, and I want to be able to become someone capable of the very same. Reading has been such a fundamental characteristic of my development as an individual that the idea of being able to write just as well, if not better, than those I look up to seems like an opportunity I do not want to let drift away. With writing, you can create your own world. You are the puppetmaster with the power of creation at your fingertips, and I want to become someone who can hold the strings.

answered: Guest

What are the options or is it in the question above

answered: Guest

the correct answer is self-disclosure must be voluntary.

hope i .

could you mark me brainliest.