Aletter to a friend of yours describing to him how you saved a child from danger

Dear Dill,

Yo man I know I never write emails and I could have just texted this but I just had to tell you this is the most EPIC STORY EVER. I was craving the munchies and went to the store the same one I told you about with the really cute girl working the counter. So then anyways I went to the back where I saw the cool fortnite sponsored burritos in the back and in the overhead circle mirror I saw this ragged kid looking around frantically, so being nice I went up to the kid asked if they were lost but she nothing but instead hugged me very tightly. That was when these yakuza types came into the store with swords and stuff yelling at folks. That was the girl said can you help and hid behind me. Next thing I knew one of the guys saw her with me and yelled at to hand her over. I said no all heroic like. That was when the all-out fight broke out in the store. The first swung at me but I blocked it and spun kicked him the jaw sending him crashing into the snack shelf next to us. The next guy came from behind grading the girl she cried out and in a quick fashion I kneed this one in the chin and gave him a couple of shots to the body. Finally, the last guy drew his sword and started slashing at me. I was taken back and fell down but luckily not on the girl she went further back as the guy was towering over me the girl over to him and called him a fat head. As he was distracted I kicked him the twig and the Google barries causing him to faint onto me. Needless to say, he was saved and so was my appetite.

Love your hero friend James.

My hamster just died stop asking these questions.