So a little back story. i'm pretty young won't say my age because i'll be judged. but i drink deer, vodlka, tequila, etc. i sometimes come to school drunk basically falling. i have depression and anxiety and i drink to escape. (but rw is me, and t is my ex)

ok on to the story
so i while ago i got together with my now ex t he broke up with his ex for me. we had a pretty good relationship. but after a while i kinda lost feelings for him and i realized i didn't like being in relationships, to much going on. i asked one of t's friends him he still had feelings for me t said "yes". so i was very confused what to do. i broke up with him it was probably for the better. when people would ask him about it he would say "i got other girls" then 2 days after i came to school very drunk probably as much as haven't ever been. i have p. e with t we have the same group of friends but we haven't talk. let me note whenever he's around me he keeps looking at me. so we pretty much see each other a lot. we were playing a game inside the gym i thought it was a normal day but drunk. later that day ( my friend let's call her k) k had a class with him. and sat pretty close to t. apparently he told k " when rw is drunk again he's gonna ask me why i broke up with him, if i still like him, and if he wants to get back together". i was in awe. that was friday 10th, may. now almost a week later i kinda started to regret me breaking with him i still kinda have feelings for him but i don't wanna be in a relationship, i don't wanna be with one person. but i also do want it. what should i do?