If you know part of this tell me I wake up, puddle of sweat
I have nightmares when I get back into bed
It's like these voices just keep playing on repeat
In the back of my head
And I can't get them to leave me alone
30 years old but still hates being alone when I'm home
Because that's when the voices get the loudest
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest
But these demons keep pressing me
I swear they're the foulest
But I've grown comfortable with their presence
My conscious is calloused
My dreams are their playground
My thoughts are their palace
I try to evict them, they return with more
Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store
I was ten the first time I had a panic attack
Like a punch to the stomach, there's no planning for that
And I didn't tell anyone
Because I was too scared about what they'd say
And I know deep down there was nothing
They could do to take it away
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face
I remember that house I grew up in
And how those demons would rattle that place
I'd lay awake at night just staring at the ceiling
I've spent my whole life trying to run away from that feeling
That feeling of being lonely
That feeling of being lost
That feeling of being sick when the lights turn off
That feeling of being depressed
That feeling of being anxious
That feeling of screaming to God
Begging him to take this
Only to get silence in return
I'd lay in that bed crying and I'd toss and I'd turn
And I turn and I toss to this day
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray
I tried both and this anxiety still hasn't gone away
So forgive me if I fantasise about being gone today
I'm an actor who got really good at being on today
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows