Alienated A Short Play by Ken Preuss

(An empty classroom sits in the dark. CAMMIE enters swiftly. SERENA follows tentatively.)

CAMMIE: Hit the lights. Everyone will be here any minute.

SERENA: (Nervously) I can't believe you talked me into doing this. (Turns on the lights)

CAMMIE: You're my best friend. I need someone to support me, so I don't look like the only one who believes in this alien rumor.

SERENA: You are the only one who believes this alien rumor.

CAMMIE: Not after tonight. You remember everything we went over?

SERENA: I remember it. I'm not sure I understand it. (Suddenly worried) I can't go through with this.

CAMMIE: Relax. Just do what we rehearsed. Help present the evidence. Please? For me?

SERENA: (Relaxes a bit) Fine. But I'm only here because you begged me.

BRIAN: (Enters.) I'm only here because she paid me.

KATIE: (To CAMMIE as she enters.) I'll give you my money back if you pay Brian to leave.

CAMMIE: Thanks for coming.

BRIAN: (To SERENA) Are you okay?

SERENA: I don't like being in school at night.

BRIAN: I don't like being in school at all.

KATIE: Are you sure we're not going to get in trouble for this?

CAMMIE: I'm editor of the paper. I told the journalism teacher we needed his room to finish the senior issue. If he knew we were investigating this alien rumor, he wouldn't have agreed to let us in here.

KATIE: I don't get why this alien thing is so important to you.

CAMMIE: This rumor has followed us through elementary and middle school. I'm not going to graduate high school without learning the truth. (She holds up a folder filled with papers.)

KATIE: (Indicating BRIAN) Some of us are not going to graduate high school at all.

CAMMIE: Let's get to work. I need things to run smoothly. I've waited a long time for this exact date.

BRIAN: Katie knows what it feels like to wait for a date. She's been waiting for one for 17 years. (To KATIE) Don't worry, Katie … a boy will call ... someday ... of course, it'll probably be a wrong number.

CAMMIE: (Shows some papers.) These are the names of students who will be here. I told them we were taking their picture for the paper. They're all seniors who were born and raised here in Mapleville.

SERENA: Just like us.

BRIAN: And you think one of them is an alien?

CAMMIE: I'm positive. After tonight, I'll know who it is.

BRIAN: I'm not going to be comfortable if I have to accuse any of my friends.

KATIE: Since you don't have any friends, it shouldn't be a problem.

CAMMIE: We're not going to accuse anyone. We're just going to present evidence and see who acts suspicious. (Holds up the three sheets.) I've divided the suspects into three groups: The Inner Circle. Those are the more popular students. The Middle Circle. Those are the regular kids. And the Outer Circle. Those are the... (Searches for a word) irregular kids - the ones who are kind of out there on their own. Pick a group and try to blend in. See if you can detect anything strange.

KATIE: I'll take the Inner Circle.

BRIAN: (Protesting) I want to be with the popular kids!

KATIE: You've been saying that for 17 years, Brian. It's just not going to happen.

BRIAN: (Reaches for a second paper.) I'll take the normal kids then.

SERENA: (Snatches it up.) I'll take the normal kids. (Hands him a list.) You take the abnormal ones.

BRIAN: (Looks over the names.) I have to blend in with these oddballs?

KATIE: It shouldn't be too hard. And if you play things right, they just may elect you their king!

CAMMIE: It's almost time. (To BRIAN) Peek out the door, and see what kind of crowd we have out there.

BRIAN: (To KATIE) Try not to miss me while I'm gone.

KATIE: I try to miss you every chance I get.

CAMMIE: (To others as BRIAN exits) Watch him tonight. See if he acts strange.

KATIE: He always acts strange. Especially around me.

SERENA: Why do you say that?

KATIE: Brian's been in love with me since kindergarten. He just won't admit it.

BRIAN: (Returning) I'd say just about everyone's here.

CAMMIE: (To KATIE) You want to go out and bring them in?

KATIE: Sure. Let me grab my jacket.
CAMMIE: (To others as KATIE moves away) Watch her closely. She could be involved.

BRIAN: She's not involved. She's in love.

SERENA: What?

BRIAN: She's in love. With me. Has been since the sixth grade. (Points to KATIE as she
puts on her jacket.) If she acts weird, it's just because she likes me.

SERENA: If she likes you, she is weird.

KATIE: I'm going out to get them. (To BRIAN, a simple afterthought) You want to go out with me?

BRIAN: (Smiles at her choice of words) Go out with you? Sure. (To CAMMIE and SERENA as he exits.) Told you she likes me.

CAMMIE: I hope those two don't mess things up.

SERENA: They'll be fine. (A beat) Can I ask you something?

CAMMIE: Sure.

SERENA: You asked Katie and me to watch Brian, and you asked Brian and me to watch Katie. Did you ask the two of them to watch me?

CAMMIE: Of course not. You're my best friend. If you were the only alien in the school, I think I would have figured it out by now.